Handle Difficult People With Listening And Influencing Skills

The following way of dealing with interviews with people in difficult circumstances will have positive results.

Build Up Rapport

• Active listening
• Minimal encouragers g. It’s OK
• Eye contact
• Look interested
• Match voice tone and volume, except anger
• Mirror body posture and language, except aggression

Paraphrase - repeat what has been said in your own words or

Reflect - the actual words used, so they can hear you have understood.

Empathies

Clarify, so you can be clear about the whole situation.

• Ask open questions, who, what, where, how (avoid why)
• Seek specific information
• Help them become more rational and less confused
• Patiently demonstrate that you care about what they are saying
• Slows a situation down long enough to see where it is going
• May reveal hidden agendas without confrontation

Summaries, Confirm

• Do you feel I have understood?
• Is there anything else?

Deeper Understanding

• Look for their positive intent

Get Yourself Understood

• Monitor voice tone
• State your positive intent
• Tactfully interrupt interruptions
• Tell your truth, what you want
• Stay flexible

 

Get What You Expect

Tell them their negative behavior is not like them and describe how you would like them to be as if they are capable of it.

 

Assume the Best

• Give them the benefit of the doubt
• State some positive intent on their e.g. “I know you care about giving customers good service”
• State your positive intent e.g. “I want to help you achieve that.”

 

Appreciate Criticism

There is no need to defend, simply hear them out and thank them for communicating. It stops the criticism in its tracks and finishes it.